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Our Parenthood Dilemma

By Enas Khalid



Does this biological interaction between x and y, which lead to the existence of xx or xy, create such superiority, superiority toward their outcome, toward their sons?

superiority in having the right for anticipations, expectations.

Superiority in having the right to choose for them, to see themselves in them, to achieve what they hadn’t achieved earlier through them. to surround them, with; love, fear, advises, directions, expectations, precautions. All of these surroundings are under the name of raise, and love.

Does this biological interaction create that kind of bond? Creates that duty of paying off their debt? Creates that duty of matching our values with our parent’s values, the duty of making them feel proud, what is proud? the duty of making our bests, the duty of being the best, being flawless; according to them, the flaws are relative.

beside this biological interaction, does their efforts in raising creates that right?

The fact that our people are considered to be emotional people .. our emotions control our behavior, acts, thoughts, reactions, and all.

This emotional aura we are surrounded with created that parental interaction, created that feeling of superiority for the parents, and the sense of inferiority to the sons.

This kind of superiority-inferiority has existed all over the world, but with us, with our people, it’s amplified or stronger .. it reached out to be a core of our lives, the son is living for his mom, the mom as well as living for her son .. the son graduate to make his mother feels proud, he might marry a specific women also, to make her proud, to make her happy, on the other hand; the mom is living for her son, she wants to achieve all of the things she couldn’t achieve through him, achieve the education in some cases, achieving the entertainment in other cases, also achieving religious, or achieving self-development.

One of us subconsciously says, I want to have kids, and I want them to do all of the things I couldn’t do .. we bring them to life to live for them, to make money for them, to stay alive advising them. all of this has its own beauty as a concept, all of this as well is probably innate, but when it becomes a duty for one of the two, when emotion controls the relation, this becomes a load .. the son don’t or could not achieve his parent’s expectations.. if the parent doesn’t or could not meet his parent’s expectations .

This confusion is derived by love, the son’s love toward his parents, otherwise, it would’ve not been a dilemma.

An idea keep bouncing in my head, what if we were born without parents? what if we were born without this connection to anyone, without this bond. My answer would be; we would have been free souls... no strings attached, no unconditional love, no debt, no rights, no inferiority nor superiority, no love.

After all, the question stays .. do they have the right? do I have to pay my debt?

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